I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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