ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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