We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
