Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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