and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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