talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
