I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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