Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
