one might say we're banned from that church
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
