C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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