When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
