K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
People in love make me want to vomit
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
