Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
