At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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