Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize