It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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