The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
