so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
