Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
