Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i think i have two assholes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
