he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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