Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
