About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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