drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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