im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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