i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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