Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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