Umm I'm too high to move.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just invented taco cereal.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
