How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
