I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
