oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
