I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
