i permit you to call me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
