the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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