And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
