sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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