He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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