I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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