do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
