Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
