Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
