her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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