Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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