Me too!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
