fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
