I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Randomize
