he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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