that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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