i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
