Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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