i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
