Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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