think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
