What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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