We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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