Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
