your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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