And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
