Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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