Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
